hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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