My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
