chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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