oh god the rape fog is back!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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