so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
