Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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