so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
