i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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