He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize