After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize