I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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