You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize