Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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