Just fell off a train. Bad.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
