your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
