You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
