I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
