WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it hurts more in the daytime
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
