Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
