There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
