I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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