i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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