I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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