she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
