I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
