my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
