just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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