I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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