bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
