Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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