I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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