Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
one two three fourrrrnication!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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