Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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