Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
