he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
