she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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