It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
