i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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