do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
