If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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