and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
