Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
