make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
