My room smells like vodka and shame
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize