dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
