so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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