I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
