Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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