People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
