Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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