I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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