I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
