If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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