How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
