I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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