i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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