i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
