I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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