just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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