i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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