Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
