spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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