Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
