My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
