is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
