I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
